Text, narration & production © 2021 C. Kurtz.
Music: John Dowland, “Tarleton’s Resurrection.”
Come share my life, please share my bed —
perhaps it will seem like we’re newlywed;
I’ve got lots of goodies in the cab’net —
I want a warm body, a cat who’s my pet.
I’ve extra space and a queen bed —
we’ll take lots of naps after we’re fed;
I used to live here with my former wife —
but now it’s with you that I’ll share my life.
You will find me the kindest of hosts —
I’ve just assembled sev’ral scratching posts;
and who wants to be all alone in these days? —
consider dinner’s often salmon entreés.
I’m at the age where evenings alone
could be better spent with a nice feline crone;
cleaning a litter box ain’t a big deal —
unlike my ex-wife, your love would be real.
Come share my bed, there’s room for two —
come share my life, there’s space for you;
come see the place, please don’t be afraid —
it’s perfectly mellow for a cat that’s staid;
I follow a schedule, I’ll be home a lot —
I’ll make sure the heating pad is always hot.
Supposedly, our ages are near the same —
presumably you and I are both tame;
here’s hoping to find my final house mate —
I’m done with humans, I don’t want to date.
So, SPCA, if you get this email,
consider this romance from a fairy tail;
what I have to offer is a habitat —
a universe centered around a nice cat.